My Story

Peeling my onion

Try as you may, try as you might

It’s been quite a fight

Hell was my life

The true role nourishment played in yesterday and today

A triumph for sure but so much endured

Childhood trauma, adolescent too

I did not choose

This pain

But it made me insane

So I turned to what I adored

A kind grandmother

Who fostered

Creative expression through food

A place to be free

Exploring the deep places of me

Through color, texture flavor you see

My connection burned at the core

But what was in store

Were eating disorders, physical illness

From the torment that was eating me through and through

Looked at constantly like a buffoon

But at the age of sixteen

A summer job cooking

In a health food café

Taught how to eat clean

Dirty I was from the trauma received

So my quest for pure ingredients

Healthy food, true nourishment

Was the only way to shout

From the life that was eating away from inside to out

It opened the doors

To so much more

Books read, therapy

Doctors, healers seen

I feverishly learned

My anti-inflammatory purist regime

And moderation it seems

Plus gluten free for more than eighteen

Is what keeps me healthy from all this dis-ease

Physical and emotional, no difference you see

Autoimmune, kidneys, parathyroid it seems

More story to tell, my diagnostic hell

I’d rather not dwell

So culinary school, a masters in nutrition too

Healing yes, but pain still stuck like glue

I continued to blame myself

For all that I couldn’t be

Accepting the reality

Of trauma is

Too hard to swallow

I didn’t want to wallow

So I locked myself in a room

To write What The Fork

And folded into creating

Food truth uncorked

I thought it could be

Something to release me

Helping others you see

My own healing plea

So I bring to my work

The offerings I have learned

To help others along the way

Turn into their grey

Food can help heal

If we know what to do

It worked for me

I am living proof

I walk each day, standing tall

Managing illness

Feeling clean

So I scream

Welcome to me

And the truth behind my book

A labor of love and pain

There is so much to gain

From my journey

My writing

My love and energy to you

Take one small thing away from what I do

And perhaps it will help you

I am no judge of others

Just here to share my truth

Given these kitchen clogs to walk in

I wear them with pride

And walk side by side

With people who want to express what’s inside

Take care of themselves

Like I tried

My entire life

It kept me alive

Learning how to nourish inside

My onion

Slicing and dicing

The layers back

Like a culinary hack

Until I realized the key

Was about gently cutting and peeling towards

To get to the center

So life could be better

I realize it was never me

Releasing this story you see

A pinnacle for sure

Allows me to be free

I can truly help more

So if you want to heal

Your relationship with eats

It could be a start

To open up your heart

It’s about connection, community

So come cook with me

Learn how to nourish thee

As a woman and mother

Heart, mind and palms open

I’m humbly here to help you

Peel your onion

© 2018 Stefanie Sacks